Wednesday of Holy Week
Gospel of John 13:21-32
Anna Galviņa, pastor
.
Weak in his faith, an apostate, a betrayer, a thief.
What do you see when your friend, no, even more, your savior, dips bread into the bitter broth of herbs? What do you feel in that movement of the hand? What does that gaze tell you?
What is that awareness that enters you a moment before the world collapses? What are you still praying for as you fall like that?
When you have to go. When life, with a heavy fist beneath the ribs, knocks the breath out of you and everything within you turns into black sludge. What is it like when you no longer have the strength to stifle that death rattle within yourself?
“You. Yes, you, weak in faith, apostate, betrayer, thief!”
What will it be like when you are left alone? Do you still remember the moment when you gathered yourself to bite into the bitter bread? That day when you were still a human being to yourself?
Those eyes: “Yes, I know, weak in faith. Two thousand years and more still: ‘Apostate, betrayer, thief.’ But you know, you remember: ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him nothing came into being. What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.’” Those eyes: “Yes. Yes, I too know that voice. Even then, even before time, even very, very long ago. Repent! Everything has long since been forgiven you. Do not despair! Do not despair — fight, be angry, grieve!” In the beginning it was like this: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness could not grasp it.”
